Pain of Another Sort

A few words about emotional pain …

“Physical pain is easily seen as beneficial, even though it can be very uncomfortable. It is an obvious symptom that something is wrong with your body. A pain in your right side might save your life by signaling an appendicitis attack. If you don’t pay attention to it, you could die.

Mental pain is just as much a ‘blessing,’ because it is telling you that something is wrong with the way your life is going. It is a sign that something needs correction — whether it is the way you think about the world or what you are doing in the world — or both. The pain is simply saying, ‘Hey, that’s not it!'”

— Susan Jeffers, Ph.D

“Feel the Fear … And Do It Anyway”

Just Say “Screw It” to Pesky Anxieties

I have this quirk to my anxiety about small, grocery store purchases.  I worry here and there about and waste time fretting over small price differences that don’t mean jack in the grand scheme of things.

For example, I have a preferred brand of peanut butter and it’s a bit pricier because of its nutritional value – sometimes as much as a dollar or more higher than your regular Skippy or Peter Pan.

So what do I do? I stand there looking at a whole shelf of alternatives wondering if I should really spend that extra dollar or so to get what I really want and when I choose it, then I feel a little guilty for not being a more frugal shopper. And all the while, I’ve burned precious mental energy debating an utterly meaningless decision. It’s not like world peace is hanging in the balance.

Continue reading Just Say “Screw It” to Pesky Anxieties

Facebook Drama – Seriously?

"No, I don't watch soap operas. I have Facebook"Have you experienced prolonged or repeated episodes of drama on Facebook? Do you find yourself complaining about the drama on Facebook?  Or worse, have you taken a “break” from Facebook because of all the drama? *Caution: I sense a rant coming*

My guess – and it’s only a guess – is that those persons who seem to get repeatedly embroiled in Facebook drama possibly do so in real life as well and may contribute as much to the drama as anyone else.  The curious thing is that they seem to think it is always someone else causing the drama and maybe it is, but maybe, just maybe, it isn’t all someone else’s fault.

If there is too much drama in your Facebook life then take a look in the mirror, re-evaluate your online relationships, and online behaviors.  Ask yourself if the online dramas reflect your real life dramas? And, if Facebook dramas don’t mirror real life dramas, then maybe it’s simply time to re-evaluate how you use social media rather than whether you use it.

After all, Facebook – like isn’t inherently good or bad – it’s what you do with it that matters.  Kind of like most things in life.

Why do I write this? Is it because of drama in my Facebook life? Hell, no … my Facebook life is entertaining but relatively pedestrian.  Sure, I occasionally make a stupid remark and have been called on it, but we all do that at times – in real life and in cyberspace. Big deal. Apologize, learn from it, and move on.

I write this because I hate to see friends – even acquaintances – in distress.  I write this because of the few times I’ve seen friends suddenly and needlessly disappear from Facebook or other social media due to the drama.  Guess what? If you flee rather than deal with the issues then not only are you deprived of the benefits of social networking but your friends are deprived of you and left to worry if something is really wrong.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes a person needs to take a break from Facebook and other social media as well as e-mail and the Internet generally. A healthy break that helps clear your head and re-set is good, but a break that doesn’t lead to resolution of a situation or positive changes that will prevent recurrences is something of a meaningless act. In those cases you’ve let the drama push you away rather than dealing with the underlying issues.

With all that said, some may wonder if I’m being hypocritical by complaining about drama. I’m not complaining about drama on Facebook, but I am concerned about those who repeatedly complain about drama and then don’t do anything positive to eliminate the drama in a healthy way. There’s a difference. And if you need help dealing with the drama – just ask.

Before I call it a night there is one disclaimer that I must make for fear of generating drama on my own and I’ll take a cue from TV and film to say:

“This is almost a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living, dead or undead, is entirely coincidental.”